Evidence the World Has Gone Mad #3

 

Italians claim Spike Lee’s new movie is full of lies about Italians and WWII.  Spike told the Italians to pound sand, saying there’s “a lot about your history you have yet to come to grips with.” (Yeah, yeah . . . remember that whole Caesar thang too!)  Does Spike have something against Italians? 

 

Not long ago, Spike told Clint Eastwood to pound sand after Eastwood objected to Spike claiming Eastwood misrepresented Blacks in his WWII movies.  As far as Spike is concerned, anyone who contradicts his grip on history is a racist.  

 

Shall we fight WWII all over again, perhaps the Civil War?

 

In economic news, Newt Gingrich suggested a different approach to the financial crisis, an alternative to raping the taxpayers, as proposed.  He suggests cutting capital gains taxes, plus a non-legislative approach, ending “mark-to-market accounting.” Gingrich says that last bit will instantly flow hundreds of billions of dollars into the parched credit landscape.

 

The liberals appear to hate the idea. Conservatives seem to like Gingrich’s remedy.   Consequently, forget it.   It’s a partisan thing.  (Liberals also hated the idea three years ago brought by McCain to fix Fannie/Freddie.  Too bad Barney Frank and Chris Dodd were too busy feeding at the trough to clean up those Democrat Houses of Corruption, the genesis of the mortgage, housing, and credit crises.)

 

On to Hollywood, known for systemic intellectual prowess: This week, Demi Moore and her boy toy Ashton Kutcher (someone’s in the kitchen with Kutcher) stopped by to tell a bunch of Iowa college students they should vote for Obama, and the students said, thanks for coming, we already planned on doing that, can we have an autograph and a no-interest college loan?  Demi said sure, after each of you register 1,000 new Dem voters, and hand out these free condoms, reminding students, “We’re only trying to protect the voters.”

 

Kutcher said McCain is insane, offering an original thought: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” 

 

Demi said Republicans are arrogant.  Arrogant.  Arrogant.  Arrogant!

 

Ashton screamed, “Nobody has any money because of the war in Iraq.”  Then, Ashton and Demi flew their private jet to another Iowa college, expecting different results.

 

Lawmaker News: When the House voted down the $700B bailout, Barney Frank, the Lisping Leopard of the House, blamed unethical/immoral Republicans. They instantly thanked him for promoting them in the voters’ eyes. You remember Barney, the gay congressman who admitted he paid gay prostitute/pimp Stephen Gobie for sex while Stephen was running a gay prostitution service out of Barney’s Capitol Hill apartment? Was that a taxpayer-funded social program?  Yes, and today, Barney, now a homosexual dinosaur, lectures us about immorality. 

 

Barney, one of the architects of the Fannie/Freddie screw up, still has the arrogance and shamelessness required to go before the cameras without conscience, demonizing good people.

 

In more fiscal news: Monday, the market dropped like Barney Frank’s pants, and then it was up! One report says the economy is growing, consumer confidence is up, and oil prices are dropping, like Congressional approval ratings. What the . . . ?      Buy bonds!

 

Two days ago, Speaker Pelosi had the opportunity of a lifetime to make progressive history speaking to the nation from the floor of the House, urging passage of the bailout.  Instead, she used the pulpit to vilify the President, Republicans, and Wall Street. She then went on to glorify Barney Frank and other Dem conspirators.  Consequently, Pyromaniac Pelosi saw the bill go down in flames. Afterwards, she denied she threw a Molotov Cocktail, immediately invoking the Ashton Maxim, blaming the President, Republicans, and Wall Street, expecting different results. 

 

(Of course, now, Napalm Nancy is working to raise taxes on Main Street.  That’ll teach those bone heads in fly over country!)

 

Neil Cavuto seems to like the idea of no bailouts: it’s time for us to bite the bullet and right the financial ship.   Former GE CEO Jack Welsh thinks we need the bailout or we will eat it big time.   If the House vote reflects the will of the people, Cavuto is the populist. Perhaps Main Street is smarter than Wall Street.

 

In entertainment news:  Woody Allen says it will be “an embarrassment, humiliating,” if we fail to elect Obama. 

 

Woody is familiar with embarrassing humiliation.  This is the same guy whose moral compass led him to have an affair with the adopted daughter of his lover Mia Farrow.  Allen’s woody was discovered when Mia found nude photos of her daughter in Woody’s apartment.   Woody later married the girl, in Italy. The entire saga is the subject of Spike Lee’s next Italian movie, said to star Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher in role reversals for dramatic effect. Because of the war in Iraq, they are strapped for cash and living with Ashton’s mom in Iowa in a house financed by Freddie Mac.

 

On the foreign policy front: international war horse Joe Biden says his helicopter was “forced down” when he visited Afghanistan, and, when he was in Iraq in 2005, in the Green Zone, shaving, he was “shot at.”  Turns out the helicopter was “forced down” by bad weather, not those nasty terrorists. In the Green Zone, while he and another senator were shaving, “the building shook.” 

 

The other senator later admitted it was gas, you know, morning gas, all that spicy Iraqi food the night before, really gets to a guy!  Biden thought it was a mortar. 

 

Biden on the hunt for Osama bin Laden—“If you want to know where Al Qaeda lives, you want to know where Bin Laden is, come back to Afghanistan with me,” Biden bragged to the National Guard Association. “Come back to the area where my helicopter was forced down, with a three-star general and three senators at 10,500 feet in the middle of those mountains. I can tell you where they are.”

 

Joe knows where Osama is but he won’t lift a finger to get him so Obama can kill him!?   Come on Joe!  To the gates of hell!  (And to the pages of history where Roosevelt is on TV in 1929 telling everyone not to fear the Crash, but to fear only fear! Trouble is: Hoover was President in 1929 and television did not exist at that time.)

 

In other politically correct news: Dan Pfeiffer, Obama’s communications director, says Biden is a “huge ass-et.” Huge.  Let Biden be Biden!  (I voted against the Gulf War, before I voted for the Iraq War, then I read the polls and immediately opposed the Iraq War, and voted against the Surge, and now I want immediate with drawl because McCain is wrong about everything!)   This is the Sen. Biden who recommended we simply partition Iraq.  One wonders how Biden would react if Maliki proposed partitioning the United States.  I guess Joe forgot Iraq belongs to the Iraqis.

 

Obama says he is glad he selected Biden. 

 

Biden is honored Obama selected him. 

 

The wedding is January 20, invitation only, Jeremiah Wright officiating, asking: “Do you take this bribe.”

 

Spike is the videographer.  Woody will blow horn. Ashton is best man, expecting different results.  Demi is humbled by the sacred experience.  Soros is catering.  Barney Frank is THE bride’s maid. Pelosi will sing, “Come On Baby Light My Fire.”  Pfeiffer is the ring bearer. And Mia Farrow will cut the cake (she’ got a knife!), a cake baked by Oprah (beware the leaven), while John Edwards recites vows. 

 

Molotov Cocktails will be served by paid interns with Public Allies, MoveOn dot orgasm, ACORN and the LGBT Alliance. 

 

Hillary expects to catch the bouquet. 

 

Bill will help himself to the interns. 

 

And, Chris Dodd, as always, will be in charge of the gifts, while the poor eat cake. 

 

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