by Allan Erickson 12.22.08
O’Reilly has his nightly Pinhead award. Dennis Miller recently helped O’Reilly with his top ten Pinheads of the year list, which actually included something like 16 worthy Pinheads (we must have a surplus). Harry Reid topped the Miller list, and most deservedly so. Despicable human being. An incomparable waste of space and good oxygen. “The war is lost.” Reid should be made to run the gauntlet in his underwear.
I’d like to chime in with a list of nominees and my selection for Butthead of the Year. It is altogether appropriate to craft some guidelines for this most auspicious nominating process.
We should avoid nominating morons. Morons are not Buttheads. Morons are people who are genetically predisposed. It would be unfair to nominate people who simply can’t help it, folks who admittedly need serious counseling and or intervention. You know, people like Rosie O’Donnell, Gary Busey, Keith Olbermann, Ahmadinejad, Courtney Love, Al Gore, Sen. Robert Byrd, Madonna and Matt Damon. These are the kind of folks who need love and counseling. Our derision only seems to encourage them and that is counterproductive.
People who deserve nomination are those who know better, but go ahead anyway, becoming giant pains in the ass regardless. These are the people who were not born buttheads, but, so far as we know, decided to perfect buttheadedness, professionally, or as avocation.
It is appropriate to define ‘Butthead’ for the purposes of this process as well.
Butthead: n – a person who willfully becomes a consumate nuisance, someone who ignores all factal evidence expressing opinions that are spewed endlessly to the great injury of all listeners; in short, an individual whose life is purposefully driven by selfishness, greed, cynicism and disregard to his fellow man. A butthead is not necessarily unintelligent or inarticulate. In fact some are highly intelligent and well-spoken. However, all Buttheads have this much in common: they enjoy aggravating and mocking other people, and if there is money in it, all the better! The professional Butthead makes it a quest 24/7 to engage personal attacks, posturing eradite, but remaining idiotic, a gross hypocrite of the highest order.
Hugo Chavez comes to mind. Castro and his brother too of course. Sean Penn is high on the list as is Alec Baldwin. No doubt Randi Rhodes is in the running, along with fellow airhead Al Franken. Michael Moore might top them all in many categories. Bill Maher is a serious contender. (“Palin: a M.I.L.F.”) There’s Bill Ayers and Jeremiah Wright. Joy Behar is another good nominee. She is an outstanding Butthead, proving it daily on The View. In fact, I’m having a hard time deciding between Behar and Arianna Huffington. For sheer arrogance and duplicity, few can exceed Huffington. Barbra Streisand comes to mind however.
Various quotes from both ‘ladies’:
Behar, referring to Palin: “We all know the woman is an airhead.” Palin is “Dick Cheney in a dress.” “Rush Limbaugh is a terrorist.”
On Obama selecting Rev. Rick Warren to do the inaugural invocation: “I don’t think it’s appropriate. It’s like putting, you know, Cheney in charge of gun control. It’s wrong….it’s just wrong.”
“I think that the old days the saints were hearing voices and they didn’t have any thorazine to calm them down. [laughter] Now that we have all of this medication available to us, you can’t find a saint any more.”
Suggesting Republicans have a racist double-standard concerning teen pregnancy: “Stay out of my uterus. Stay out of my e-mail. Stay out of my blog.”
“A lot of homeschool kids are demented. They learn to be scared of other children.”
Taking children to church? “Why would you bully your child?!”
AND, the wit and wisdom of Huffington:
“I am a former right-winger who has evolved into a compassionate and progressive populist.” [Arianna as self-aware prophet.]
“The collapse of Communism as a political system sounded the death knell for Marxism as an ideology. [Yet she promotes BHO.]
“Bristol Palin can use a blue fur-lined onesie (plus a good lawyer for her future mother-in-law).” [Arianna as benevolent mother.]
“The Bushies have always had a detached response to the human cost of their policies.” [Arianna as judge, divining motivation. You know, torture and all that stuff. https://allanerickson.wordpress.com/2008/12/23/prosecute-bush-torturing-the-facts/]
BTW Arianna: Bush, Cheney comfort troops privately
“Bush shredded the Constitution.” [Impeachable offense Arianna?]
Talking about Bill Maher, on Maher’s program: “He has slept with more Black women than Barack Obama.” [Arianna the unifier.]
“I couldn’t be more thrilled than to have Bill Maher as my first guest on my show tonight.” [Arianna substituting for Rachel Maddow, agreeing with Maher the two of them are ‘members of the press’ ?! Remember she called Tony Snow a liar, and Tim Russert, a slouch interviewer.]
To Bill Maher: “It seems Barack Obama has succeeded in tapping in to the better angels of your nature.” [Arianna as comedianne?!]
“We are ready to reclaim patriotism from the Jingoists and the Religious Right.” [Arianna, patriot.]
“I think the Kurds were free before we invaded Iraq.” [Arianna fashions her own reality. Once gassed a Kurd is free indeed.]
Republicans . . . “they don’t believe in evolution but believe in torture.” [Arianna, promoter of the Fairness Doctrine, so long as it doesn’t involve bloggers, and HuffPo.]
So, does my award go to Behar the Horrible, or Huffington the PuffDragon? (Drum roll please!)
THE 2008 BUTTHEAD OF THE YEAR AWARD GOES TO . . .
BOTH OF ‘EM!
While Behar is obviously the bigger Butthead of the two, Arianna deserves credit for so frequently going all girly in the presence of a scumbag like Bill Maher!